Hey folks,
It's that time in the year where 48 minutes of garbage time somehow draws the attention of the world. So not to rip off Bill Simmons, here are some typical notes that I paid attention to with a 2 minute delay.
1. Eddie Jordan, the east coach, pretty much is trying to destroy LeBron by playing him MAJOR minutes in an All-Star Game. Hey Eddie, if you play LeBron for the next two quarters, you're going home.
2. The Fraud and A Joke Award goes to: Wayne Newton. Seriously, how the heck does this guy make millions of dollars a year? He can't sing, can't dance, can't entertain, but yet he makes Oprah style money. I really noticed this during his pre-game song routine, where his lip-singing was off, his voice over voice sucked, and he was stuck in the mud. One thing came up when I saw him in an interview: If there was a Disney-World on another planet, and they had a human mascot, they would just employ Wayne Newton, because he is the fakest human being I HAVE EVER SEEN.
3. Marv Albert spent the whole game wondering if he was invited to Tony Parker and Eva Longoria's wedding. Hey Marv, remember the last time you were with any women?
4. Doug Collins aka "I couldn't win with Michael Jordan" proving why he sucked as a coach. He takes All-Star games like game 7 and regular games like All-Star games. For example, here's a quote when Mehmet Okur commited a foul on the inside "If you come in the lane, he is going to hit you hard, no EASY BUCKETS TONIGHT." You're a blind man Collins, blind man.
5. Carlos Boozer sat out tonight's game. GOOD. CLEVELAND WANTS YOU IN 4 WEEKS BOOZER IN CLEVELAND. God I can't wait!
6. The "Second Comming" Nike commerical has been shown around 100 times tonight. Every time I see that, I run under my bed because I think Rasheed Wallace is outside my room with a knife.
7. Guess who Dave Chappelle came to the game with. Prince. WHAAT? What a great couple and what a fitting situation. No rumor that Prince and the Revolution were invited to play. Shoot the J, SHOOT IT.
8. Kevin Garnett is chillin on the bench wondering if he will ever escape the doom in Minnesota. He really needs to get traded or he will be the greatest talent to go to waste.
9. Elvis impersonators were doing dunks off of trampolines in the fourth quarter and Gilbert Arenas felt like he needed to join in on the action. Again adding evidence to my theory that he really has no shooting conscious.
It's that time in the year where 48 minutes of garbage time somehow draws the attention of the world. So not to rip off Bill Simmons, here are some typical notes that I paid attention to with a 2 minute delay.
1. Eddie Jordan, the east coach, pretty much is trying to destroy LeBron by playing him MAJOR minutes in an All-Star Game. Hey Eddie, if you play LeBron for the next two quarters, you're going home.
2. The Fraud and A Joke Award goes to: Wayne Newton. Seriously, how the heck does this guy make millions of dollars a year? He can't sing, can't dance, can't entertain, but yet he makes Oprah style money. I really noticed this during his pre-game song routine, where his lip-singing was off, his voice over voice sucked, and he was stuck in the mud. One thing came up when I saw him in an interview: If there was a Disney-World on another planet, and they had a human mascot, they would just employ Wayne Newton, because he is the fakest human being I HAVE EVER SEEN.
3. Marv Albert spent the whole game wondering if he was invited to Tony Parker and Eva Longoria's wedding. Hey Marv, remember the last time you were with any women?
4. Doug Collins aka "I couldn't win with Michael Jordan" proving why he sucked as a coach. He takes All-Star games like game 7 and regular games like All-Star games. For example, here's a quote when Mehmet Okur commited a foul on the inside "If you come in the lane, he is going to hit you hard, no EASY BUCKETS TONIGHT." You're a blind man Collins, blind man.
5. Carlos Boozer sat out tonight's game. GOOD. CLEVELAND WANTS YOU IN 4 WEEKS BOOZER IN CLEVELAND. God I can't wait!
6. The "Second Comming" Nike commerical has been shown around 100 times tonight. Every time I see that, I run under my bed because I think Rasheed Wallace is outside my room with a knife.
7. Guess who Dave Chappelle came to the game with. Prince. WHAAT? What a great couple and what a fitting situation. No rumor that Prince and the Revolution were invited to play. Shoot the J, SHOOT IT.
8. Kevin Garnett is chillin on the bench wondering if he will ever escape the doom in Minnesota. He really needs to get traded or he will be the greatest talent to go to waste.
9. Elvis impersonators were doing dunks off of trampolines in the fourth quarter and Gilbert Arenas felt like he needed to join in on the action. Again adding evidence to my theory that he really has no shooting conscious.
10. LeBron decided to scare every Cavaliers fan by trying to throw the ball off the backboard and dunk it. Instead he went 20 feet in the air, landed on Amare and realized what he did. Just doing that made some people in Cleveland jump off the Bob Hope bridge into souvenir city.
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